Hi. I’m Jessica. I’m 31. I’m single. I’m not crazy. No, I don’t have any kids. *leaving a moment for gasps to stop* And yes, in case you were wondering…
…I am a unicorn.
By today’s standards, I am a rarity. One that should be applauded but instead I’m deemed as “behind schedule”. And if I’m honest…sometimes I agree. I’d like to be married by now. And as of December 31, 2016 (my first encounter with legit WANTING to be a mother – Thanks Danae), I’d like to have a little me. But ultimately, I know I’m exactly where God needs me in life. Especially right now.
I’ve been in long relationships, I’ve been engaged, had a date set and everything! Then BOOM…single again. (I have an unreleased blog about that so stay tuned…trust me, it’ll bless ya).
Anywho, it took me a while to embrace this season of singleness. I’ve cried…a lot. I’ve been confused…a lot. I’ve hurt…a lot. But ultimately, I’ve grown…a lot…closer to God and I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.
ANYTHING…not even a new love interest. And if you know me, you know I LOVE love. But even with my love for love, I have no desire to be in it right now. Although there have been a few great candidates that have approached me since the break up, my emotional Heisman stance has been on FLEEK! I have a DO NOT DISTURB sign on my heart and I don’t want to take it off.
In this season, I am intentionally single. I N T E N T I O N A L L Y.
This time belongs to no one but me and God. I’m deliberately remaining focused on Him. And He is showing me ME. The me that HE intended me to be. He’s cultivating spiritual boldness that I’ve lacked because…well, what would my friends think of me if while we’re out to dinner one day and God gives me a word to say to a complete stranger and I actually do it? He’s healing parts of me that I didn’t know needed healed. He’s surrounding me with new friends who genuinely care about my soul. And revealing my flaws and instructing me on how to work on the, embrace them, and even how to use them for His glory. But most importantly, He’s introducing Himself to me in ways I’ve never known Him. I’m amazed at how much He truly loves me.
I don’t know when this season will be over, but I’m enjoying the ride. I know that I’m being transformed. I feel it. And not to toot my own horn…but TOOT TOOT…whoever gets to marry this upgraded version of me will be one lucky husband! Ha!
With that being said, ladies & gentlemen…we have to stop viewing singleness as a death sentence and start seeing it as opportunity. And that opportunity has nothing to do with filling your time or your space with anyone new. It’s a chance to truly embrace YOU and reaffirm the fact that YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOURSELF. Don’t rush the process. YOU are worth the time it takes to be whole…by yourself.