There’s Bravery in Break-Ups


I’m not one to keep up with celeb gossip – especially not the break-up and make up stuff but today, I ran across the news that Michelle Williams and Chad Johnson have called off their engagement.

Can’t lie. I was a bit disappointed finding that out. I don’t know much about Michelle aside from her Destiny’s Child days. And have been guilty of chuckling a bit at her, um, stage mishaps over the years but she’s always remained so humble through it all. A woman of true faith and character. So when I initially learned of the viral story of her engagement, as well as his background I was beyond happy for her!
Godly love always excites me!

However, I know all too well what it’s like to experience that type of love only to have to let it go. I also know the sting of everyone cheering you on because ‘you two look perfect together’ all while wishing someone would see something’s off kilter and tell you it’s okay NOT to proceed.

First comes love, then comes engagement, then comes marriage. Right?

To most, yes! But no one tells you that as you’re navigating through that mucky middle part that you have to get some grit. If you’re truly open, honest, and not just head over heals for marriage, the engagement will teach you things about yourself and the other person that will cause you some concern. It’ll make your second guess yourself and your future with the other person. It’ll make you make some hard inner choices that could make or break your ultimate decision of marriage. And guess what, that’s okay!

Let your timeline be your own!

It takes extreme bravery to jump from engaged to single. To most, it’s a step down. And to the couple, it’s even worse. Think about it…you were right smack dab in the middle of planning to spend the rest of your life with someone and…BOOM – you’re single again. It’s hard. It’s scary. It’s uncomfortable. But sometimes so necessary.

Love is like looking into a dirty mirror.
Engagement is the process of wiping it off.
Marriage is dealing with your reflection.

Because of the flow of life that society has slapped on all of us, those around you will raise and eyebrow and speculate; especially if you’re not open with your reasoning. And when God is involved, sometimes you won’t even be able to fully explain what the real issue is…you just know God is saying “no”…or  “not right now”.

Regardless to the reason and omitting any explanation…do what’s best for you!
And no matter what our culture suggests, you’re single until you are married. Period. And in your singleness, your only obligation is SELF and your own WELL-BEING.

Side note: I’ve seen lost of posts calling Michelle and Chad’s engagement “failed”. I don’t know the full story behind it but the glimpse I’ve seen, it doesn’t look much like a failure to me. Ending any relationship to work on self is NEVER a failure.

All breakups aren’t bad.
Some couples are mature enough to let God lead – no matter where they end up.

Again, I don’t know the backstory of why Michelle and Chad ended their engagement but I commend them both. To be in the public eye and still brave enough not to put up a front for cameras and money says a lot about their faith in God, their love for one another as well as their commitment to being internally whole. KUDOS!

And to anyone just “going with the flow” but feeling like you need to drop the anchor…DO IT! Trust and love yourself enough to not commit to anything that only looks right. You owe it to yourself to feel it too.

There IS love after an ended engagement!

Keep shining!
-Jess

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